


Coping

by eunkong



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:28:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21776029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eunkong/pseuds/eunkong
Summary: Do you know how to cope with missing Bin? beacuse Eunwoo doesn't.
Relationships: Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Moon Bin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 91





	Coping

**Author's Note:**

> for the members of sad binu hours gc ♡

They say every day is a new day. It’s a motto Dongmin lives by, he never takes yesterday’s problems to a new day. He wakes up as a new person, welcoming life and ready to face whatever it has to throw at him.  
That is, until he wakes up one day with a heavy heart, he doesn’t want to get out of bed, doesn’t want to face the cameras or the staff, not today, not without his boyfriend by his side.

***

The members of Astro stumble into their van, barely awake. As usual, Jinwoo calls shotgun, and the rest of the members file into the back of the van. It’s another promotional day for their new album and they barely got enough sleep, even if this time is better than previous ones, since they attend only a handful of shows, but it’s more exhausting, since they are lacking their center and are working very hard to fill in for him.

Dongmin sits by the window, preparing himself for a half hour nap before they get to the hair shop. Sanha claims both seats beside him and he feels irritation rising within him, but manages to close his eyes and pretend he’s ok. It’s not Sanha’s fault, he reminds himself, Bin isn’t here, they don’t need to leave his seat vacant. It’s not like he will pop out of nowhere and scold Sanha for putting his foot where he’s supposed to be sitting. It’s not like he will hold Dongmin’s hand and let him lean on his shoulder cause Dongmin’s always cold, and Bin is his personal heater.  
Dongmin feels the hole in his heart growing bigger, but he closes his eyes and lets sleep consume him anyway.

***

The hair shop they frequent is a space they feel very welcomed in, very at home. That’s why you can hear Myungjun’s and Sanha’s screams as they chase each other, wasting time till it’s their turn for hair and makeup. Minhyuk and Jinwoo are getting their hair done, while Dongmin snacks on a bowl of fruits left on the table.  
It’s a normal day, nothing is out of the ordinary, until Myungjun gives one particular hard push to Sanha, who screams falling to the ground, “I wish Bin hyung was here, you don’t stand a chance against him!”, to which Myungjun responds with more screams and hits.  
Dongmin though, doesn’t feel as jolly as the other members, he pushes the bowl of fruits away and checks his phone; nothing. It’s still 7:30 a.m., there’s no reason for Bin to be awake at this hour.

***

Another day, another cycle of hair, makeup, rehearsals, performance, probably a radio show, a live performance, then back to the dorms, which is the part Dongmin looks forward to the most in his day.  
It’s a shame, really. He loves performing, loves the sound of Arohas cheering for them, loves promoting with his members, loves their jokes and pranks, but something is always missing.  
They’re doing a music show interview today. He’s standing in the front line with Sanha, while the rest of the group are standing on a higher platform behind them. His usual smile is plastered on his face, he is happy, he truly is, but he’s unbelievably cold.  
Dongmin is so used to Bin’s body heat beside him, they are always next to each other, and he wonders briefly if that’s what Bin felt like when Dongmin had solo schedules and they had to promote without him. The next second Sanha stumbles while introducing the next group, and Dongmin laughs, sad thoughts put on a halt.

***

Fan signs are the part Dongmin enjoys the most. Interacting with Aroha and listening to their stories is his favorite part of the promotions cycle. So he goes all out, he laughs, bullies Jinwoo, bickers with Myungjun, listens to Minhyuk’s adorable rambling, and teases Sanha. It’s when he feels like himself again.  
He spots some of Bin’s fansites, and feels immensely grateful for their support. He makes sure to be a tad bit nicer to them.  
One particular fansite he recognizes to be for him and Bin together, asks him to copy Bin’s signature for her, it’s easy, he thinks he did well enough.  
Dongmin thanks her for her support, and feels the hole in his heart growing bigger and bigger.

***

They are on stage, performing the same song for the umpteenth time. They know the choreography like the back of their hands by now, even with the few tweaks and turns they made to perform it as five, instead of six, it’s still the same song, drilled into their muscle memory from weeks of nonstop practice.  
For Inkigayo though, they wake up the earliest, start recording at 5:00 a.m., so it’s no surprise that someone would mess up a little.  
Today it’s Sanha. Poor boy forgot he has to cover Bin’s part, missed the beat and they had to re-record the whole song.  
For Dongmin it was alright, he’s sure it was for the rest of the members too, they’re used to making fun of each other’s mistakes on stage, but Sanha takes the easier road, jokingly blaming Bin’s absence for his mistake.  
Dongmin has to clench his fist hard, to control his temper. Technically Sanha isn’t wrong, if Bin was there, there would be no mistakes.  
He doesn’t think his anger is obvious until Jinwoo corners him, asking if he’s alright, if something is bothering him. One look in Jinwoo’s eyes tells Dongmin that he knows, he always knows, but never forces the members to talk. So Dongmin denies his irritation, smiles and carries through with the rest of the recording.  
The fan chants this time is harder than before, seeing Aroha trying to get the beat and the timing right is endearing to all of Astro.  
Jinwoo guides them with his ever patient personality, laughing at their mistakes but telling them they did good nonetheless.  
Dongmin watches from the side, wondering what would be Bin’s reaction. He would probably make fun of Aroha’s mistakes, his prankster, mischievous persona hard to hide.  
Dongmin watches from the side, and the hole in his heart threatens to swallow him.

***

It’s cold, so cold Dongmin feels like his nose is going to fall off his face, but he bears it, smiling brightly, with the hood of his padding jacket over his head, it’s fur framing his face, bringing more warmth.  
They’re having a mini fan meeting, and if Dongmin is cold, then the fans scattered sitting in front of him must be freezing. That’s why the members buy them food and drinks, mini mats to sit on, and hot packs.  
The members move around, jumping and playing, enjoying their time as they always do, Dongmin included.  
At the end of the fan meeting they gather to say their last ments and goodbyes. Dongmin, the ever attentive boy, listens to them one by one, until it’s Minhyuk’s turn and he mentions Bin.  
Dongmin freezes, why is he the only one incapable to talk this freely about him? He’s jealous of how easy it comes for them, and blames his overthinker mind.  
On the way home that same day, while the rest of the members doze off from exhaustion, he asks Jinwoo quietly, “Hyung, is it bad that I can’t talk about Binnie?”. Jinwoo, bless his good heart and his understanding of every member, gets what he wants to ask, he puts his hand on Dongmin’s knee, “It’s ok, Eunwoo, it’s hard on all of us, but we cope with it in our own ways. If it’s easier for you to not mention him at all, then don’t.”  
Dongmin struggles with voicing his thoughts, “But.. but what if Binnie misunderstands? What if he thinks that I’m not as effected as all of you?”  
“He won’t, Eunwoo, don’t you trust him?”  
Dongmin bristles, “Of course I do.”  
“Then you know he loves you as much as you love him,” Jinwoo’s smile is healing, “he won’t doubt you over something as small as this, and if it bothers you so much, talk to him.”  
“Ok hyung, I will. Thank you.”  
But the hole in his heart doesn’t stop growing. 

***

It’s their last schedule for the day, and Dongmin is fidgety. If you look at him, you’ll see the usual calm and collected, perfect Cha Eunwoo, but his heart can’t stay still. This day had been the longest and he can’t wait to go home.  
Dongmin sits, smiling, while his band mates bicker and expose each other as they always do on radio shows. It’s especially entertaining today because the host is Minhyuk’s close friend, and he looks so excited and smiles brighter than he has ever done on a show.  
Dongmin likes her, he likes the host, a friendly bubbly personality is always welcome to interview them, but then she makes the mistake of calling him the leader, and asking him to say a word to Moon Bin.  
He looks a little flustered, it’s not how he feels at all. He feels panicked, afraid, and he looks at Jinwoo for help. Jinwoo smiles gently, correcting her as Myungjun laughs out loud, then sends a message to Bin like she asked.  
Dongmin keeps silent for the rest of the show. Dongmin feels lost. Maybe the hole in his heart did really swallow him.

***

When their van reaches the dorm, late at night, all Dongmin could think of is HOME.  
Like every other day of this promotions, he leaves the rest of the members behind and go up quickly, his heart racing as he opens the door to their dorm.  
Bin is sitting there on the sofa watching T.V., his arm in a cast. He looks bored, and breathtakingly beautiful.  
Dongmin’s heart lurches on his throat, how did he survive all the past schedules without Bin? How is he going to survive the rest of the promotions without Bin?.  
Bin looks at him and smiles, “Hey, welcome home, should I order dinner now or wait till you guys shower first?”  
Dongmin is trying to hold back his tears. They always call him a cry baby, now he’s going to embarrass himself for real. Bin is looking at him with worry, and he can hear the rest of the team coming closer, so he greets Bin and escapes to his room, picks a towel and his PJs and heads straight to the bathroom yelling “I’ll shower first.” before closing the door.  
Whether he likes it or not, Dongmin cannot not cuddle Bin after showering, and he does like it. He goes out of the bathroom to find Bin still sitting there, listening to Minhyuk telling him all about their day. It’s cute, how he has the whole day memorized, scene by scene, “so Bin hyung isn’t missing out”.  
Bin looks at him, standing there shivering, and beckons him to come closer. Dongmin does, cuddling into him like a wet kitten, toning out of all their noises, he falls asleep. 

***

It’s dark, and Dongmin is uncomfortable, is the first things to cross his mind when he wakes up later.  
Opening his eyes, he is faced with the back of the couch, what is he still doing here?. Gentle fingers cradling his hair is what brings to his attention that he is, in fact, lying on Bin’s lap. Bin with his fingers playing with Dongmin’s hair and his phone in his hand, sitting in the dark made Dongmin’s heart squeeze painfully in his chest. If Bin’s arm was fine, he would have moved Dongmin to his bed by now.  
Dongmin sits up slowly, he is still disoriented from his nap, to find Bin smiling at him.  
“Hey.“  
“Hey Binnie, why are you still awake?”  
Bin leans forward to move Dongmin’s bangs out of his eyes, “Not tired, I slept in today.” He stands up, “let’s get you to bed, you look tired.”  
He climbs into his bed first, slips under the covers near the wall, leaving enough space for Bin to join him.  
They usually share beds day in and day out, according to their schedules, but once Bin started his break from activities, they have been sharing Dongmin’s bed every night Bin spends in the dorm.  
“Do you have your alarm on for tomorrow?” Bin whispers quietly, slipping his arm around Dongmin’s waist, pulling him closer to his chest.  
“Yeah, are you going home tomorrow?”  
“No,” Bin hugs him tighter, “I’ll spend the rest of the promotions period here.”  
“Why? You said you wanted to spend time with Roa, earn her trust again.”  
“It’s ok Minnie, I can do that another time,” Bin kisses his nape lightly, “you’re more important to me.”  
Dongmin turns to face him, “Where is this coming from?”  
Bin’s smile is gentle, and his arm is still around Dongmin’s waist. “Jinjin hyung told me what you talked about earlier.” He pulled Dongmin closer, tangling their legs together. “It’s not just that, Minnie, is it?”  
Dongmin sighs, moving Bin’s arm that’s around his waist so he could intertwine their fingers. “I just miss you a lot, that’s all.”  
Bin kisses his forehead softly, and he goes on, emptying his heart for the person he loves the most.  
“I know it’s inevitable. I feel helpless. I hate the stage without you, it feels empty. Everything feels incomplete. I try, I try so fucking hard to enjoy it, to make memories with the fans and the members, but how can I when you are not there?” He feels pathetic, having no control over his own emotions. “and I know I don’t have the right to feel this way. You did it before, so many times you promoted as five, without me. I don’t know how you did it. Doing events alone is awful, but why does this hurt more?”  
He can feel the tears in his eyes, but he refuses to blink and let them fall.  
“Min, Minnie, baby it’s alright. It’s ok.” Bin hugs him closer, resting his chin on top of Dongmin’s head, as Dongmin buries his head in the crook of Bin’s neck, and he already feels better. “I did miss you. When we did activities without you, I missed you like crazy. Returning to the dorm knowing you won’t be there for the night, or even a couple of nights was hell. I didn’t want to sleep alone, that made official activities feel a bit better, cause then I, at least, have the rest of the members to entertain me.” He let out a sigh before continuing. “I learned how to deal with MJ hyung’s craziness, how to depend more on Jinjin hyung, while filling in your role as the other responsible adult in the group, but I didn’t stop missing you.”  
Bin pulls Dongmin away to look him in the eyes, “You know how I dealt with that, don’t you?”  
Dongmin chuckles. “Tons of video calls, thousands of messages, hundreds of silly selfies. I loved that.” He sighed. “I’m sorry I can’t do the same.”  
“Don’t be silly,” Bin’s tone is light, “I know you do what you can. Have I ever doubted you, Min?”  
“No.”  
“And I never will. We all have different ways for coping. I don’t need you to mention me on shows or to hold my selfie while taking a photo. What we have is bigger than all of that. All I need is to see you smiling, and to have you in my arms at the end of the day.”  
“I love you Binnie.”  
Dongmin reaches for Bin’s face in the dark, kissing him softly. Bin moves his hand from his waist to his hair, bringing them even closer, deepening the kiss further.  
Normally, Bin would stop him after a few seconds, reminding him of tomorrow’s schedule, and that he needs to have a good night rest, but tonight he knows Dongmin needs reassurance, so he let him do whatever he want for the rest of the night. 

***

Dongmin is stuck. No matter how many times he writes and rewrites his letter to Arohas, he can’t find the right words.  
He is infinitely thankful for the support they have received during promotions period, but he’s glad it’s finally over. If he could choose, this would be definitely his least favorite promotions.  
He’s supposed to be at his parents’ house. The company gave them 2 free days to rest, so he visited his parents yesterday, spent the night there, and was back in the dorm the next morning.  
They all had breakfast and lunch together, lazed around in the dorm as usual, enjoying the free day.  
After lunch he and Bin went on a drive date, their favorite kind of dates lately, with Bin unable to do most usual date activities due to his injury.  
They had take-out dinner in the car, visited their favorite manhwa room, then went back home, dived into his bed to have a proper ending to an amazing night.  
Now Dongmin was laying on his bed, freshly showered, trying to ignore Bin’s very loud singing in the shower, as he writes his fan café letter.  
Bin emerges from the shower in his boxers only, he never wears more than one article of clothes at home, and plops himself on the bed next to Dongmin.  
“Still not finished?”  
“I don’t know what to do!” Dongmin whines. “I don’t want to dump my heart on them, but I don’t want to lie to them either.”  
“Aww sweet Nunu, the guardian of Aroha’s hearts.” Bin’s teasing tone is unmistakable.  
Dongmin rolls his eyes fondly. “Shut up.”  
After a while, Dongmin sighs, locking his phone, dropping it on the mattress and laying himself over Bin’s bare back.  
Bin doesn’t move, he just drops the webtoon he was reading. “Done?”  
“Yes, finally.”  
They lay in silence for a few minutes. Dongmin’s fingers drawing random shapes on Bin’s back, before he speaks up. “You know what I realized?”  
“Mm?” Bin’s voice is sleepy.  
“As much as I miss you when we aren’t together, my heart feels so warm knowing you miss me too.”  
Bin turns them over suddenly, he still overpowers Dongmin even with a broken arm, “You have gotten too cheesy, Min. You need to be fixed.”  
Dongmin’s eyes widen in horror. “NO!”  
Bin ignores his shouts as he attacks him with tickles.  
“No, Binnie, no please stop.”  
Dongmin can barely breath through his giggles when Bin stops and lays beside him, one arm hugging him loosely, but he can’t stop staring at Bin’s mirth filled eyes.  
Dongmin feels safe, being in Bin’s arms is being home.

**Author's Note:**

> * 100% self indulgent  
> * first (and probably last) fanfic  
> * can you tell i love best leader park jinwoo? cause i love best leader park jinwoo  
> * members' names change with how they use it irl (dongmin calls himself dongmin while the members call him eunwoo etc)  
> * all events are real events except one  
> * criticism is very welcome, but please be nice


End file.
